TL;DR Performance Schedule.

by Stepto
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A friend expressed surprise I would be performing in Portland later this month and I mentioned my blog post with the schedule and he told me it was TL;DR. So. TL;DR version!

SEATTLE 6.20.12:

The Exceptionally Ordinary Tour at The Vera Project

PORTLAND 6.21.12:

The Exceptionally Ordinary Tour at The Old Church

SEATTLE 6.24.12:

Molly Lewis and Friends at The Triple Door

AUSTIN: 7.7-7.9.12:

RTX (Rooster Teeth Xpo)

SAN DIEGO COMIC CON 7.12.12:

w00tstock 4.0! (note I’m not an official performer at w00tstock 4.0 but will be present as alumni and to do something we had a blast doing last year.)

I have other performance announcements to make for August and September but for now please come out see me and my friends act silly for you. I’ll be doing a mixture of old stuff and entirely new stuff, and I would love to see you there.

In Which I Tell You My Upcoming Performances

by Stepto
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So it’s been a very busy month for me, and I’m spread a little thin over a couple of different opportunities. But that’s a good thing! First and foremost in my mind is completing After. The good news on that front is that I will have the first draft off to my editor next week!  I’m incredibly excited to get this into your hands because it was not just a fun project to do, I have something very special planned for it that I want to wait for publication to lay on you!

I’ve also been doing some Video Game consulting work which has been helping pay the bills, and that has been a tremendously rewarding experience.  For the longest time inside Xbox I would be called upon to basically provide the service of being an analyst or consultant for some aspect of a game for the platform.  And every time I would toil and provide what I thought was concrete applicable advice only to hear from the other side of the table “Well of course you think that, you want our title to be better on Xbox than PS3.” and watch my hard work get dropped on the floor because I was talking to liaison people for a platform and not the people in charge of making the game the best it can be. 

Now that I’m doing consulting, they can still drop my advice.  But I now I get paid for it, and I know that they dropped it for reasons related to resources or having to make cost decisions not solely because the joker across the table in charge of not playing favorites. Especially since now I can provide my expertise to any platform.  It’s very rewarding work.  I can see why a lot of people leave XYZ industry and go into consulting.

But what I really want to do, is direct!

Ok not really what I really want to do is perform! I love being in front of an audience and making them laugh. And alongside this big adventure of leaving the crushing corporate world and trying to do what I want is doing ALL the things. So I have a list for you of my upcoming performances!

For those who are not familiar with what I do performance wise, here’s an example, and another, and another.

Having said that, I’m so happy to announce I’m a special guest for the Exceptionally Ordinary Variety Tour for their Seattle and Portland shows! I’m also going to be performing fun stuff with Molly Lewis in Seattle!  And at Rooster Teeth’s community event in Austin I will also have stuff to say!  And lastly I will be at w00stock 4.0 at SDCC (note I’m not an official performer at w00tstock 4.0 but will be present as alumni and to do something we had a blast doing last year.)  In all cases I will have hard cover and soft cover copies of my first book, A Microsoft Life, for sale and will be signing it. Here’s my schedule!

SEATTLE 6.20:

The Exceptionally Ordinary Tour at The Vera Project

PORTLAND 6.21:

The Exceptionally Ordinary Tour at The Old Church

SEATTLE 6.24:

Molly Lewis and Friends at The Triple Door

AUSTIN: 7.7-7.9:

RTX (Rooster Teeth Xpo)

SAN DIEGO COMIC CON 7.12:

w00tstock 4.0!

I have other performance announcements to make for August and September but for now please come out see me and my friends act silly for you.  I’ll be doing a mixture of old stuff and entirely new stuff, and I would love to see you there.

Tonight, So Much Changed.

by Stepto
3 Comments

No I know, the coffee you order is the same.  The gas you pay for is chemically identical to yesterday. The beer you like on tap is the same.  The food you may struggle to obtain remained scarce.  Your thirst was unchanged. Your freedoms are just as restricted or not as they were before. Your fight for freedom in oppressive regimes didn’t change a whit.

But at 3:44 AM today, Eastern United States time, so much changed.

Oh, the impact will take time.  All transformative technologies do.  The Internet took 20 years for it to reach the everyday person.  And so does the first private servicing of Low Earth Orbit (LEO) and Earth Orbit (EO) face the same obstacle.  Except government programs have, sometimes on purpose and most times not, stood in the way of progress in regards to LEO and EO.

Let me say that more clearly: NASA has been primarily holding near Earth exploration back.  It wasn’t intentional, and NASA would not agree with that, as they have set up the liaison to private sector. But the agreements that resulted in tonight’s launch were only very recently reached. And I would argue that their position only evolved as the government funding of shuttle servicing of EO/LEO started to drop off. 

So clearly, I am an anti-NASA fan now in regards to pace.

I know, OMG YOU HERETIC ASSHOLE YOU WANT TO DESTROY MARS ROVERS AND CASSINI.

Calm down.

Seconds ago the first privately engineered rocket and capsule went into orbit to demonstrate its ability to service the International Space Station and future projects in LEO and EO. This follows the first launch of private spacecraft to send humans into LEO just to send them.

There’s a lot that can still go wrong, the capsule won’t reach the ISS for 3 days. But…She’s in orbit.

This is how it begins.  This is so much more important than the last shuttle launch.  It doesn’t feel like history, but it is.  And NASA only agreed to it because it no longer had the shuttle to rely on.

I watched the SpaceX Dragon launch in tears of pride.  It’s now on us, not our massively funded governments who sometimes run risk for little gain.  Mark my words. With this change it all begins. Within 10 years, things like sub earth orbital private transport will replace the utility of something like the Concord as the method of making it from LA to Japan in an hour. Sub orbital flight will move quickly after 2022 from extravagance to novelty to utility. It all requires getting things like the government programs out of the way.

Our romantic relationship with NASA as how people explore space has to end. Other governments will help, other private enterprise in other countries too.

And, it’s time for private enterprise to help, freeing NASA to evolve into Air Traffic Control for LEO and EO and let them concentrate on the next big missions: Return to the Moon, Mars, and exploration of moons like Europa and the Asteroid belt.

I do not say this lightly.  I am a sucker as much as anyone for the Michael Bay slow montage of how we got here.  Mercury, Gemini.  Apollo. Shuttle. And NASA has to all reports been an excellent partner in creating this moment. As much as I feel the past 20 years have been somewhat hindered by NASA’s sole control, they have adapted to the future like scientists.

So SpaceX has taken a step.  Virgin Galactic has already taken a step. And hell, this was just the launch.  Dragon won’t reach the ISS for three days so something can still go wrong. But that’s still progress.

There will be failures.  People may die.  Like all exploration it will be painful.

Godspeed SpaceX and Virgin Galactic. You hold the near future in your hands.  Let’s let NASA hold our far futures in their hands.

Oh and SpaceX?  Dragon is a beauty.  She flew true. What a flight.  What a night. I am so proud.

Dear Blizzard, Let Me Give You Protips re: Hack Statements

by Stepto
7 Comments

First of all let me reprint in its entirety without my comments, Blizzard’s comments in regards to potential Battle.net hacks:

Battle.net® Account Security & Diablo® III

We’d like to take a moment to address the recent reports that suggested that Battle.net® and Diablo® III may have been compromised. Historically, the release of a new game — such a World of Warcraft® expansion — will result in an increase in reports of individual account compromises, and that’s exactly what we’re seeing now with Diablo III. We know how frustrating it can be to become the victim of account theft, and as always, we’re dedicated to doing everything we can to help our players keep their Battle.net accounts safe — and we appreciate everyone who’s doing their part to help protect their accounts as well. You can read about ways to help keep your account secure, along with some of the internal and external measures we have in place to help us achieve our security goals, at our account security website here: www.battle.net/security.

We also wanted to reassure you that the Battle.net Authenticator and Battle.net Mobile Authenticator (a free app for iPhone and Android devices) continue to be some of the most effective measures we offer to help players protect themselves against account compromises, and we encourage everyone to take advantage of them. In addition, we also recently introduced a new service called Battle.net SMS Protect™, which allows you to use your text-enabled cell phone to unlock a locked Battle.net account, recover your account name, approve a password reset, or remove a lost Authenticator. Optionally, you can set up the Battle.net SMS Protect system to send you a text message whenever important changes occur on your account.

For more information on the Authenticator, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battle-net-authenticator-faq

For more on the Battle.net Mobile Authenticator, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battle-net-mobile-authenticator-faq

For more on Battle.net SMS Protect, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battlenet-sms-protect

We also have other measures built into Battle.net to help protect players. Occasionally, when Battle.net detects unusual login activity that differs from your normal behavior — such as logging in from an unfamiliar location — we may prompt you for additional information (such as the answer to one of your security questions) and/or require you to perform a password reset through the Battle.net website. World of Warcraft players might be familiar with this security method already, and Diablo III players may begin to encounter it as well.

As always, if you think you’ve been the victim of an account compromise, head to the "Help! I’ve Been Hacked!" tool at http://us.battle.net/en/security/help for assistance

As far as these things go, it’s well constructed.  It’s long enough to seem transparent, and detailed enough in guidance to result in every single online gaming press to reprint it without question.

But let’s look at it.  Let’s really look at it.

Battle.net® Account Security & Diablo® III

Good title, a tried and true practice of framing the issue clearly without seeming like there’s anything going on.  “Hey!  We just thought we would do a post about account security and Diablo 3!  No reason!” Note also the distinct brand separation of Battle.net from Diablo 3. I would imagine this is intentional. If Battle.net’s brand has to take a hit, most people don’t equate that name with Diablo 3. Yet.

This is the first most important thing you can do in perception manipulation: frame your response at the outset to be making it seem routine and breezy, protect your money making asset and throw the obscure one under the bus. Even the title is critical.

We’d like to take a moment to address the recent reports that suggested that Battle.net® and Diablo® III may have been compromised.

Highlights are mine.

These highlights are not inaccurate.  But they are manipulative.  They seek to first and foremost cast into doubt any accuracy in the reports.  This is typically indicative of an investigation either underway or one that has resulted in facts that make the people crafting this message keenly interested in muddying the waters.

Let’s stop for a moment for me to say this: I have no idea what is going on.  I am not trying to say Blizzard is doing one thing or another.  I am trying to show you how the careful crafting of language (sometimes by lawyers and PR firms) permeates statements in crisis situations.

Look at the words “suggested” and “may have been.”  These statements, from my understanding, go through multiple revisions by committees of people to craft a plausibly disputed description of the response.

Why plausibly disputed?  Well in my well learned opinion, to avoid legal liability. The possible presence of lawyers in the crafting of the message in this case means that legal advice was being dispensed.  So, during a lawsuit discovery phase the crafting of the total statement cannot be shown in court because lawyers were providing legal advice on how their clients should communicate. That’s protected under attorney client privilege.

Already, merely a few words in, the idea of communicating without really giving information is established.  I won’t bore you with the rest of the statement to this level of detail.  Instead I will simply denote what every gaming site on the Internet will gloss over:

Historically, the release of a new game — such [SIC] a World of Warcraft® expansion [/SIC] — will result in an increase in reports of individual account compromises, and that’s exactly what we’re seeing now with Diablo III.

*This happens to everyone, it’s not our fault for not preventing it. Also we wrote this in a hurry and messed up our grammar.

We know how frustrating it can be to become the victim of account theft, and as always, we’re dedicated to doing everything we can to help our players keep their Battle.net accounts safe — and we appreciate everyone who’s doing their part to help protect their accounts as well.

*Subtle hint that if we didn’t clearly communicate the risk or provide enough incentive in using our security features, this is kind of your fault. But we thank those who deciphered the arcane settings instead of playing the game to help lower our instances of fraud.

**Special bonus free protip to companies: Offer unique DLC or bonus upgrades for people who “proof up” their accounts to become verifiable.  This is how you get people to use features that add friction to the log in process.

You can read about ways to help keep your account secure, along with some of the internal and external measures we have in place to help us achieve our security goals, at our account security website here: www.battle.net/security.

We also wanted to reassure you that the Battle.net Authenticator and Battle.net Mobile Authenticator (a free app for iPhone and Android devices) continue to be some of the most effective measures we offer to help players protect themselves against account compromises, and we encourage everyone to take advantage of them. In addition, we also recently introduced a new service called Battle.net SMS Protect™, which allows you to use your text-enabled cell phone to unlock a locked Battle.net account, recover your account name, approve a password reset, or remove a lost Authenticator. Optionally, you can set up the Battle.net SMS Protect system to send you a text message whenever important changes occur on your account.

For more information on the Authenticator, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battle-net-authenticator-faq

For more on the Battle.net Mobile Authenticator, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battle-net-mobile-authenticator-faq

For more on Battle.net SMS Protect, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battlenet-sms-protect

This is good guidance.  But it’s buried in the overall defensiveness of the opening.  There’s no real incentive to take these actions for the customer.  My eyes glazed over by the time I read it.  Whoever the potential lawyers and PR people who crafted this, seriously guys: you were so concerned with protecting yourselves you made words words words.  I know you know every gaming site will simply reprint it.  But you are giving guidance here. The guidance part?  That’s the meat.  Not the “Reports” that “Suggest” there “may be” a problem.

We also have other measures built into Battle.net to help protect players. Occasionally, when Battle.net detects unusual login activity that differs from your normal behavior — such as logging in from an unfamiliar location — we may prompt you for additional information (such as the answer to one of your security questions) and/or require you to perform a password reset through the Battle.net website. World of Warcraft players might be familiar with this security method already, and Diablo III players may begin to encounter it as well.

As always, if you think you’ve been the victim of an account compromise, head to the "Help! I’ve Been Hacked!" tool at http://us.battle.net/en/security/help for assistance

Again, good stuff.  Bravo!  But, words words words at the end of a lot of words words words. All of the guidance should have been up front.

All right. So, since I’m Mr. Brilliant Mcsmartypants here, how would I have done it?

Easy. I would have unlocked a unique item in Diablo 3 for anyone who enables the security features and I would have said this:

(PLEASE NOTE NONE OF THE BELOW ARE STATEMENTS ISSUED BY BLIZZARD. THIS IS ME JUST OFFERING ADVICE. DO NOT CONFUSE THIS WITH ANY OFFICIAL STATEMENTS REGARDING DIABLO 3, THIS IS JUST A LESSON IN CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND PR.

SERIOUSLY.)

We’ve heard from our customers that there are issues involving Battle.net account security in Diablo 3.  Before we address those complaints we want to remind all our customers of the following:

Battle.net account security can be increased by using secondary authentication:

For more information on the Authenticator, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battle-net-authenticator-faq

For more on the Battle.net Mobile Authenticator, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battle-net-mobile-authenticator-faq 

For more on Battle.net SMS Protect, visit http://us.battle.net/support/en/article/battlenet-sms-protect

If you enable these options, your Battle.net is eligible for a unique Diablo 3 [Insert level appropriate reward]

*Cut to the reason to increase your account security up front with helpful guidance.

Secondly, if you think you’ve been the victim of an account compromise, head to the "Help! I’ve Been Hacked!" tool at http://us.battle.net/en/security/help for assistance.

*Next, immediately validate people’s concerns by offering help. The last thing people want to hear are “isolated reports” that “suggest” there “might be” a problem. They want to know where to go if all their items are gone.

Last? address the issue:

We’re concerned about the customer posts and details regarding negative impact to their accounts. We’ve taken the reports seriously and assigned teams to investigate. However that takes time. Please understand we’re not dismissing or shrugging off a situation that might result in the hard work we’ve done to make Diablo 3 such a great title to be undone. We will provide further updates on a 48 hour basis to [THIS LOCATION]

*Then, you take a competent community spokesperson and make that person available 24/7 to press. Issue the statement, but allow it to be challenged and explored by press.

See how many less words?  See how much more the statement assumes the mantle of responsibility without blaming the customer while still noting the investigation is ongoing? Plus, you get a real human to answer questions that challenge the statement.  The human might not be able to truly answer all the questions again due to legitimate concerns about liability, but a journalist can feel that they did their job challenging the issue with a real person instead of having to dissect and speculate about a statement.

This isn’t rocket science.

To see another analysis of blanket statement fail, here’s my breakdown of John Edwards’ admission of his affair.

Writing update and a Song I Wrote. (of sorts)

by Stepto
1 Comment

I’m at one of those moments when you’re in the middle of a writing project where you write yourself into corners, write yourself out, pat yourself on the back for your own ingenuity, then promptly write yourself back into a corner. KHAAAAAAAAAN.

Work progresses apace on After. I’m becoming really pleased with how it’s turning out.  My next Kickstarter update to my backers will be a first glimpse of the cover design and an explanation of it.

But what I’m learning most as I start to stretch as a writer is the need to roll other projects around as a break.  I feel guilty doing that while being funded by a Kickstarter but the reality is you can only write so much in one place without letting your brain jump to other places. I have two other projects in play and I’ve become smarter in how I develop an idea and involve other awesome creative people to be a part of it, so that it changes in creative and wonderful ways. Then I don’t have to write every word myself having formed a “band” of writers, and later a spouse or a girlfriend will change the entire creative direction for one of us and it will devolve into a level of acrimony that still results in multigenerational reverence.

That’s going to be my next Kickstarter.

Anyways, I wanted to briefly address another topic, and that’s a sort of writing task I’ve been assigning myself where I come up with an idea but force myself to do it in a completely different writing medium than where my head was at when I came up with the way the idea would take form.

Bear with me while I tell you a brief story.

I thought of Europa. I’ve been fascinated with that moon since Arthur C. Clarke’s 2010. I spend a lot of time thinking about that moon.  It holds probably one of the best chances in our solar system for highly developed life.  The core of the moon is twisted constantly by Jupiter’s gravity, which creates friction and heat.  This means that Europa (and we know this to be true now) is harboring a liquid ocean underneath a crust ice.  We certainly don’t know all the particulars (like just how thick the ice is, or what type of ocean (salt water, etc)) but we do know it’s water.  And it’s been there a while. Which usually leads me down the path of what that life would look like or behave like in that environment. What is that life doing right now, so far away.

So I created a whale like species, that has evolved a rudimentary sentience. They exist much closer to the warm molten core of the floor of the ocean.  They breed in litters, and use sonar as their primary sensory and communication mechanism, but they also have primitive sight as well.  The breeding cycle is slightly predatory, in that the females are somewhat larger as to support the litter, the male is strong but somewhat smaller.  After a mating ritual involving song, the male latches himself to the female and they ascend far beyond the warmth of the lower levels, all the way up to near the ice crust where the temperature is much lower but the light is much brighter (from the reflection of Jupiter).  The male inserts his genetic information to fertilize the male, and casts away from her. 

She remains in the cold layer above the natural predator zone of their species in order to give birth. The ascension requires all the energy reserves of the male, only the strongest and youngest ever make it back down, and no male survives a second trip.  The vast majority die after mating once.

And this species, through natural selection, is going extinct. So there are so few of them, males and females swim their whole lives sometimes never finding a mate to make the journey before they die. So I thought of a story about a male nearing the end of his life without finding someone, and then he suddenly does. But he cant stay with her long or court her or really bond with her, he has to mate quickly, knowing that in that act he’ll die.

I know, cheerful right?  Bright, airy, suitable for spring?  So instead of writing a short story about it, which was where I wanted to go with it, I forced myself to do something infinitely more hard.

I turned it into a song.

Well, lyrics.  I mean I have a tune in mind. My musical training is that from age 5 to 16 I played Piano and Violin. I could read sheet music, determine time by ear, tune my Violin without a pitch pipe. I don’t know enough nearing age forty to look back and say I was good or talented, I just know the basic facts of what I could do at the time.

Sadly the actual playing of music and all of that skill drifted out of my life like responsible awesome things are discarded by 16 year olds. So recently when I recorded the audio version of my book A Microsoft Life, I decided to see if I had it in me to create music by writing an original song.

I did, at best, ok.  And it was stunningly difficult.  Not that I thought it would be easy, but more so that at least with some musical training I could rediscover it.  Yeah, no.  Add to the fact I *wanted* it to sound a tad awkward and “podcasty.”  So even when I hit what I thought was objectively good in pitch or tone, I had to re-record to up the awkward.*

In fact were it not for the help of my friend John Drake I’d still be coming up with the music to go with the lyrics. Again, I had a tune, and a meter/rhyme scheme. And I knew how I wanted the song to sound for the joke that it served on the audiobook. But that didn’t mean I had a song.  It meant I had bad high school poetry.

So why not do it again!

I’m presenting the following “song” under the same Creative Commons license for this site.  I know I’m not a music writer so I’m casting this one out to the Internet.  I know enough musical folk that if it’s something they feel is good, someone will adapt it.

Feel free to take this and make your own music to the lyrics you perform, but you can’t sell it or include it on a commercial album or other avenue without my permission under a new license. I know I don’t know music like I would like (hell I’m not sure I know words like I would like) but this was a super challenging exercise and even if you read it and go “wow that’s bad high school poetry” I feel like at least I hit above the bar I set for myself.  So feel free to take this and make it into a song, my only credit is “Lyrics: Stephen Toulouse” if you do it for free.

If you want to know what tune I have in my head for it,  email me and I will consider sending along a sample. Oh also there’s undoubtedly meter and rhyme fuck ups below so if you would prefer to tweak a word or two fine.  That’s a derivative work, you just can’t sell it.

Oh one last thing: I have no idea if this is good or not, I’m not presenting it as a “good song.”  I’m saying I wrote something in a genre not in my wheelhouse. Hrmm I should call that “Bad High School Poetry.”

 

Europa

In my mind, the red glow lasts forever
and in my dream you’re searching through it too
the lesser life don’t know what we’ve forgotten,
I fear that we’re the last ones, me and you.

I was told the sky ends in a ceiling
but without you I’ll never see its light
I know it takes your strength and mine to reach it
my one way trip with you through end of night

I need to find you soon
so we can reach,
the ceiling of the sky

It’s been so long since I have heard another 
ages past the chorus of us all
Where did they go, all of our wondrous singers
My voice no longer echoes when I call

Then in the distance I can hear your singing
Relief and love mix in my glad reply
Joined we’ll make anew another choir
And we will see the ceiling of the sky

We must leave here soon
so we can reach,
the ceiling of the sky

You form out of the dim warm light and hear me.
You ask me if I understand the price.
I’ve spent my life afraid of lonely silence.
Our choir’s voice is worth my sacrifice.

Couldn’t we simply remain together,
The question in your song is what I fear.
We’d only ever hear our lonely voices,
And my life and journey’s end is here.

Now we’re on our way
so we can reach,
the ceiling of the sky

Wrapped together, the journey begins.
my strength and love I add to you.
I know I will not last here
the light and cold grow strong

But the voices we make will be clear…

I can hear them as the light grows near…

And I give you what we all hold dear…

I hear your cry, as weak, I break away.
The deed is done, you climb still further through
I see it now so bright and cold and lifeless
The ceiling of the sky embraces you.

Fading now I gave my life for children.
The chorus will live on a little while.
If one’s a male I hope he won’t be lonely 
I hope like me, he’ll sing with grace and style.

I’ll never hear his voice.
And now I die,
by the ceiling of the sky.