Chris Hardwick, Nerdist, managed to get Doc Brown’s open letter to Marty McFly. I’d always been subtly aware of the suppressed rage between these two characters but didn’t know other people had the actual correspondence.

Marty’s reply is probably less known but I have reproduced here for posterity. Warning, these two guys have needed to have this falling out for quite awhile so the language is definitely NSFW:

Doc-

Really? We’re going to go there? Cause I have some points that, you know, I feel you should take into consideration. Thanks to your needing to steal from terrorists to test out your well thought out scientific theories I NEARLY HAD TO BECOME MY OWN FUCKING FATHER ASSWIPE.

Oh sure, I know you could say I didnt HAVE to. But up until I had to confront his BONER after he was HUMPING A TREE LIMB while WATCHING MY MOM UNDRESS I’d never really considered how stupid and fucked up your self absorbed time travel process had become. Believe me, right about the moment my mother’s incestuous TONGUE was in my MOUTH just so I could ENSURE MY OWN BIRTH I was sincerely looking forward to watching you get shot again. Oh I’m sorry, did I suddenly reveal why YOU GOT SHOT AGAIN?

And by the way, I love how a guy with hair like Bozo the Bleached Albino Clown and a penchant for flailing limbs and bug eyed grabbing-people-by-the-shoulders gets to make short people jokes. Hey genius next time you want to fuck up my psyche while going through some convoluted scheme to live in the wild west and fuck some prairie woman after thoroughly fucking up my entire LIFE, how’s about you just go to the wild west in your machine and experience THE POWER OF LOVE ON YOUR OWN.

Do. you. have. any. idea. how long it will take for me to erase that alternate future where my mom has a massive tit job out of my mind? Never mind the fact that without you Biff was just an annoyance LET ALONE A MULTI TIME DIMENSIONAL MENACE.

I’ll never forgive you for fooling me into wearing that multicolored village people cowboy outfit.

Eat an ass dipped hoverboard,

Marty.